Bikingchina’s Weblog

Our rower was a middle-aged man with what can only be described as a farmer’s face: tough, leathery, sun-tanned, and weather-beaten. I asked him how long he had been working as a boat rower, to which he responded seven years. I took a look at his forearms and noticed that while thinner than my own, they were much more sinewy and muscular. Individual veins popped and bulged with every down stroke of the bamboo pole. Through short back and forth exchanges of questions and answers, I was able to find out that he still farmed, although he only had time to tend to his crops early in the morning prior to work and late in the afternoon after work. I found it difficult to imagine someone having the strength to cultivate fields after a day’s worth of rowing, so I asked him how many raft trips he takes per day, on average. One or two on slow days and up to eight or nine on busy days, he replied. I asked him how much he got paid per raft ride. He told me that he was paid 1.5 Yuan per person, and not per raft.

The “river rapids” was a bit of a misnomer, because the ride itself was actually very peaceful and smooth. It was quite a change of pace from the rigors of daily biking to be able to dip our sore and aching feet into the clear and cool waters that lapped at the edges of the raft. Every other sight we saw would be either a water buffalo soaking lazily in the shallow waters of the stream bank or local farmers collecting snails to cook for dinner or to sell on the market. Although we did not ride the thrilling and fast flowing waters that we were hoping for, the actual experience was still very unique, very serene, and very beautiful.

At the end of the ride, we thanked our rower, tipped him twenty yuan, and stepped off of the raft.

Upon getting off of the bamboo raft, we quickly realized that our adventures in the “Twin Streams Rapids Amusement Park” had only just begun. Laying sprawled out before our eyes was a treasure trove of rare and never-before-seen-in-the-West games of luck and skill. I’m going to break down the various attractions that we encountered in chronological order.

Chicken Archery

For ten yuan one receives a rental bow and five arrows and is allowed to shoot at live chickens that run around in a small enclosed forest. Fortunately for the chickens, and unfortunately for us, this attraction was not open today. Just kidding. Neither Steven or I could bear the thought of shooting at live chickens because they are just so darn adorable. Nor would the chickens have anything to be afraid of even if Steven and I were to shoot at them since we’re both lousy at medieval warfare. We both failed that college course.

Steven brought up a few good points, however: First, what would you do if you hit a chicken in a non-vital spot? It would seem incredibly inhumane to leave an injured chicken lying around. We decided that they must have incredibly skilled veterinarians on hand that specialize in arrow punctures. Second, what on earth would you do with your chicken if you actually managed to kill it? It would seem incredibly odd to haul a fresh dead chicken back onto the tour bus. We decided that they would probably offer to cook the fresh fare on the spot for a small additional charge.

Water Wheel

Next to the chicken archery field was a small open-air shed with two water wheels built underneath. I asked the attendant nearby what exactly the activity was that we were supposed to pay to partake in, because I was rather confused by the lack of anything that seemed “fun.” She seemed to laugh at me for asking such a silly question, and explained, rather matter of factly, that we can pay to try an old-fashioned water pumping station.

At this moment, the story of Tom Sawyer tricking his friends into white-washing his fence popped into my head, but quickly faded away. “Pay you money so I can perform physical labor for your benefit?!” I thought I myself… “Count me in!” So I paid the attendant the three yuan admission fee and jumped onto the water wheels pedals. Great idea right? Not only am I paying money to help pump water for them, but I get to exercise my rarely used quadriceps as an added bonus.

I had a rather difficult time navigating the controls in the beginning, because I thought I was supposed to be push down on the pedals as if I were biking. Clearly, however, I was making a fool of myself because the attendant quickly jumped onto the other set of foot pedals and attempted to show me the correct way to pump water. Ladies, I recommend that you ditch your gym memberships because this is the original “Stairmaster 500 (BC).”

Turret Shooting

Moving on from the water wheel house, we were quickly able to find solace for our hearts which had been aching to shoot things since the Chicken Archery game. What we found were machine gun turrets. Or at least… what looked to be machine gun turrets. Instead of expelling real ammunition, these weapons of minimal destruction spewed out golf-ball shaped and sized rubber bullets.

Although the cross hairs of the guns were not exactly up to military standards, with proper compensation (aka the first three shots) it was still very possible to hit the targets. While I personally had absolutely no luck (I blame the wind), Steven was able to hit the target three times in a row. It was not difficult to tell whether or not you nailed a target as successful hits would elicit a very out of tune version of the “Happy Birthday” melody from the surrounding loudspeakers.

Jungle Hunting